anyways ive been trying to find a replacement for the HDMI cord my tablet uses

..it is not fun

the screen tablet i bought a few months ago broke, for a while now i had to bend the cords to get the screen mirroring to work properly but now it just doesn't work anymore

the cords it uses is unique and i can't find a replacement anywhere, i threw away the box it came in because i thought it would last for way longer and i don't know how to get a refund (something something print stuff and scan codes and shit) so getting my money back is completely out of the question

..i don't think i should buy anything from temu anymore

i still have the other tablet i used for my shitty digimon shit but.. im not using that one again 💀

to add insult to injury i only have little under 80 dollars, probably because mom made me spend a bit on my own groceries (i don't know why she did that when she's usually the one covering it)

most drawing tablets with a screen cost over 100+. the screenless ones are affordable but i don't want them, the screen makes it easier to draw..

i would ask my dad to just buy a new one that will actually work but he's been so picky about how he spends his money outside of the essentials (groceries and all that). we've had to move in with my grandparents (mom's side of the family) so he wouldn't have to worry about the landlord and focus on getting us a new house... but we've been living here since 2020

he also said that he'd be refurbishing a laptop for me to make it actually competent... that was months ago

yeah i don't think my dad can keep a promise for shit, he's way too busy for that

i might have to give up drawing since EVERYTHING decides to become an issue whenever i want to be an artist

i could probably scrap the tablets for some cash

i could also create a site for people to pay me (but i can't think of anybody who would do that)

i don't feel like posting anything about it though since the franchise isn't very interesting to me anymore

i just haven't had much to talk about lately

..and also because I HATE typing with the s key missing (see: https://tengukuru.newgrounds.com/news/post/1506410)

the only way for me to type properly is to either pull up the touch keyboard and awkwardly use my mouse to punch in the keys i want or copy-paste the s-key whenever it needs to be applied (the method i use the most)

anyways im redrawing one of the characters i had planned for megaman nexus 0: rockman nexus. i was worried that if i finished the original drawing, she'd look weird next to itanji due to the different brush im using and her proportions, not to mention ita got a redesign before hers was even finished

i lowkey hate explaining these characters because what i plan to do with them and the direction i want to take the story with these guys makes a lot less sense without the comic that doesn't exist (yet)

..ehhhhh if all goes well you guys will figure out soon enough

(im using my phone to type this, that's why i can use the s key here)

I'll probably buy a new one off of temu since I've purchased some stuff from there and the products work pretty fine, not sure why people hate it though

i mean they're saying they're putting cancer in the clothes they ship... lol

• im bored and the only people i talk to are my family and (in the form of small talk) the workers at stores i do buisness with to pay them and get stuff i want
• i want to find like-minded people
• go on SOCIAL MEDIA sites to make friends my age
• people make fun of me for not having any friends and being anti-social or get mad at me for "talking too much" despite the fact that i am on a SOCIAL MEDIA platform and i am making an attempt to socialize
• even when i'm not being an asshole or letting the things i hate define me, people still don't like me because every little thing i do is bad apparently. liking femboys is bad, making a small sex joke and expressing attraction towards a fictional character is bad, everything is bad
• everybody around my age has 50 million different made up pronouns, (including they/them which makes no sense because you're only one person and not several), numerous made-up ""gender identities"" (which aren't real by the way), and several sexualities which either mean the same as another sexuality, contradict a sexuality/""gender identity"", or don't make sense at all

• ^^^ i'm not like these guys because i actively use my brain and i'm not stupid enough to believe that i was born in the wrong body, that gender is a spectrum, or any other stupid bullshit and yet i'm being punished for it because something something homophobia transphobia bigotry racism mysogny etc, etc
• it's either i become one of them or the only people that will show up to my funeral when i pass away is my family (i mean it's better than nobody but come on...)

(why are these kids talking about mutilating their genitals so young anyways??)

at this rate i may as well give up on making friends

and don't hit me with that "ermmmm you're just being edgy and toxic it's just a phase you'll get over it!!1!!1! UwU" or anything similar-sounding either, common sense =/= hatred

sorry i keep changing this guy's design at the drop of a hat, it's just that there are a little bit more tweaks i want to make before i draw the other characters and the comic as a whole, liking making rockman nexus actually look like a robot. the old design looks more like arkana's dark magician than it does a machine

im using a brush that's meant to simulate the artstyle of the guy who made the jjk manga

i could care less about that series because nothing about it interests me + the fandom is toxic and annoying but i like the brush

got banned from a server because

1. i like femboys but i say im not gay (how is it gay? you wouldn't be attracted to them if you were gay because they look like women)
2. i don't have a social life (i lowkey have trust issues and im socially awkward, i don't know how to start conversations)
3. i'm homeschooled

they also told me to kill myself because i "have nothing to live for" because of those reasons

and i can't get in contact with the server owner either, which is a shame because that server was kind of fun

..i don't get it

what am i doing wrong here???? i seriously don't understand

why is it that when i'm trying to make friends and genuinely trying to form connections rather than my usual trolling people still hate me??????????????

like i don't want to sound like some emo, attention-seeking loser, like im genuinely curious, i really don't see what i'm doing wrong here

(vgm = video game music)

if i had to guess why i haven't bothered with it, it's probably because

1. art is more easier and fun for me compared to music
2. it's hard for me to come up with my own original music and it almost always ends up sounding like a pre-existing track
3. i don't really have any use for my own music right now, it's not like im making a game and want a killer soundtrack made by yours truly
4. the only music program i ""know"" how to use is fl studio (""know"" being in big ass quotes because the only thing i know how to do on there is place sounds in that little box. only recently has it occurred to me that i can just look at a tutorial if i don't know what im doing 💀)
5. i have been dealing with this stupid green tint for the longest time, and since fl studio is predominately greenish i did NOT want to deal with that (my dad says he's gonna refurbish a laptop and give it to me so there's that)(in retrospect i could've used spacedesk to deal with said tint though)

since i have my new screen tablet with much more stable screen mirroring than spacedesk could ever hope to have and a cracked version of v21.0.3 build 3517 fl studio (which i can't link because i might get penalized for piracy) i might try getting into actually making video game music

it works like a charm but it requires both the usb port and the hdmi port to be plugged in to turn on, and because both ports are on the opposite side of my pc, the cord ends up being awkwardly positioned on my keyboard

it's not a MAJOR issue though.. i can live with it