got banned from a server because

1. i like femboys but i say im not gay (how is it gay? you wouldn't be attracted to them if you were gay because they look like women)
2. i don't have a social life (i lowkey have trust issues and im socially awkward, i don't know how to start conversations)
3. i'm homeschooled

they also told me to kill myself because i "have nothing to live for" because of those reasons

and i can't get in contact with the server owner either, which is a shame because that server was kind of fun

..i don't get it

what am i doing wrong here???? i seriously don't understand

why is it that when i'm trying to make friends and genuinely trying to form connections rather than my usual trolling people still hate me??????????????

like i don't want to sound like some emo, attention-seeking loser, like im genuinely curious, i really don't see what i'm doing wrong here